Weak Legs : Mystery Solved

Today

Whenever I do my weekly activities of trekking, hiking, swimming or jogging, my legs tire very fast. The only thing that I could think of was that I suck in sports. So, I trained really hard, and never gave up in doing that extra round, distance or lap. I kept telling myself to keep going on. It was my mental strength that gave me the energy to proceed on.

I was always disappointed with myself for being the last person in that line. The weakest link. The person that slows down the group. The person that always gets left behind or loses sight of the person in front of me. The person that walks with the guide (because the guide follows the last person). 

Then

I was not an active person in school. I began to dabble in sports when I was in college where I played netball. It was just a pre-requisite for sports. I did not enjoy myself.

My first introduction to sports was in hiking which started in 2009 when my colleague asked me to join her for the Pinnacles Summit Trek. I practised at Bukit Saga everyday. But I still suck. So, I kept pushing myself to take that extra step. It was a tough trek for me at the Pinnacles Summit Trek. My legs were so weak from all the rocks climbing. I remember vividly that the guide told my friends to cook something for me to give energy to my legs. I felt embarrassed. I felt disappointed. I felt sad. But inside all those, I felt a slight bit of happiness to be able to achieve what I came for. I invested in a pair of knee guards and a trekking pole since then. 

In mid 2010, I hiked Mount Rinjani. I was the last person. Everyone waited for me. Embarrassed. Disappointed. Sad. The same emotions. But I was still happy with myself for completing what I came for. 

Slightly a few months after Mount Rinjani, I hiked Mount Irau, a beautiful place in Cameron Highlands. I was the last person. I almost got lost having lost sight of the person in front of me, until I called my friend to ask which route they used. Good thing there was a mobile connection. I was scared and panic when I realised I was using the wrong route.  

In early 2011, I hiked Mount Nuang, the highest mountain in Selangor. I did not finish the hike. I knew myself well enough to know that I could not reach the peak within the allocated time. 

In mid 2011, I hiked Mount Kinabalu. I was the last person to reach the peak. My sister was far ahead of me. The legs were so tired. This time, I was not embarrassed and disappointed. Because we started early, we still manage to reach within the allocated timeframe. I was happy because I achieved what I came for.  

In late 2011, I trekked to Annapurna Base Camp. I was the last person in the group walking with the guide. The trail was not difficult, but there were lots of steps which tire my legs. I told myself that I am enjoying the scenery. Whenever I reached a village, my friends were there talking and waiting for me. Embarrassed. Disappointment became lesser. Not sad. I was happy because I reached the Base Camp eventually. 

In 2012, I did a few local hikes and treks to Kutu Hill, Tabur Hill and my weekly hikes at Bukit Saga. Kutu and Tabur was a strenuous hike for my legs. I was still slower than my friend at Bukit Saga.

In early 2013, I hiked Mount Chabang. Last person as always. My friend saw me with my trekking pole, and asked me - Give me 3 reasons why do you use a trekking pole. I was not embarrassed and disappointed with myself anymore. I learnt to accept the fact that my legs were weak. So, I told him - I have a pair of weak legs. Well, not 3 reasons but still the main reason. I am still doing my weekly hikes at Bukit Saga, Today, my friend told me - You have the stamina to run 21km but yet, you are still slow in hiking. 

Today, I told my friend. I have scoliosis. It's the curvature of the spine. Mine is not very obvious, but it is evident enough when I have my photos snapped or when I looked at myself in the mirror. One shoulder is higher than the other. One hip is more prominent than the other. Curved at 12 degrees at the lower spine, it has reduced my disc at T4 and T5. Hence, my nerves are affected too. The result of this - weak legs, legs cramp, cold legs, and backache. I have occasional legs cramp and I thought it was because my legs were cold. Backaches are something I experienced often, and mainly I figured it is because I am sitting too much. 

I checked myself for scoliosis in December 2010, and the doctor said that I did not have scoliosis. So, I did not think anything was weird with my shoulder and hips. In January 2012, I had a very severe back pain that I had to lie down the whole day. Doctor said that I did not have anything to worry about. I saw the report and it showed some spine-related problem which was minor. I googled it. It was scoliosis. Late 2012, I went for a medical check up, and it was confirmed a scoliosis. I did not think scoliosis was related to me having weak legs. I was ignorant about scoliosis.

Yesterday, I went to see a chiropractor. I found out what I had to know.

Future

I am going to sign up for 12 sessions of spine realignment to reduce the degree of curvature and power plate exercise. I am going to increase my swimming sessions to strengthen my back muscle to hold my spine in place. 

Now, I know better than to be embarrassed and disappointed with myself anymore. I am sorry that I did not give myself the benefit of the doubt. Instead, I was so hard with myself. I compared myself with others and wondered how are others much better than me.

I understand myself better now.